No Diet Today for My Redhead

I was busy wearing down my finger tips at my Dell when my redhead burst into the den and announced she didn’t have to diet after all.

It seems she had decided yesterday she would start some “low carb” diet today. (Which for me means I suddenly don’t get potatoes with my chicken breast. I get a healthy side of chicken with my chicken breast. But I digress.)

She was quite proud of herself.

It seems a couple days ago she had tried on a pair of her jeans and had to lay down on the bed to zip them up. She decided then and there she needed to go on a diet. Her goal: Lose 5 pounds.

So today was “D-day”–until she got on the scales.

Somehow she had convinced herself that if the jeans were tight it meant she weighed at least 135–five pounds over her “freak out” weight of 130 and ten over her “regular” weight of 125. She couldn’t stand to be so “enormous”, so she had to lose ten pounds.

Ladies, here’s an aside: Your guy probably doesn’t want you as skinny as you want you. We tend to like curves. Soft curves. And breasts always look better full. Just keep that in mind. But I digress.

Back to our narrative…

So, this morning as part of her dieting ritual, she took a deep breath, closed her eyes and stepped ever so lightly on the scale. Barely opening her right eye, she looked at the digital testament to her overindulgence.

129.

Yup, she was a full six pounds lighter than she had ass-u-me-d.

So she came in and explained to me what all this meant:

“Well, it would have taken me two weeks or so to lose 6 pounds, so I figure I can wait two weeks to diet cause I’ve already lost six pounds.”

It’s the same type of math she employs to convince me how buying a new outfit she doesn’t have closet space for “on sale” saves me thousands of dollars each year.

In a couple weeks I’ll give you an update on her starting her diet. After all, she’s already lost six pounds, she’s winning the battle already.